This post will be the last of my posts in diary format; starting with the next post
I will change my blog format to be event and destination centered. Rather than bore you with mundane life events, I'd rather bore you with our more interesting adventures. ROFL
Monday, Dec 22, 2014
Started out like a pretty normal day; at least as normal as any day has been on this month long initiation into retirement living on wheels. While finishing the mid-morning coffee Red gets a call from her dad at the nursing home, and he seems upset that her mom is sleeping so much and not even waking enough to go to the dining room. Not an unusual phone call from him these days, as he does call occasionally with much the same anxious discourse. Red explains again that Mom is just tired and the disease is taking it's toll. But this time, it seemed like a call to the nurse might be in order, and with talking to Jesse (the nurse) it sounds like she is declining rapidly at this point. Wow, so today is Monday...better be checking on flights; may not be easy to get this close to Christmas, but Red really needs to get home. I missed my moms last Christmas, and that has always been a regret.
Thank goodness for priceline.com...with flights from JAX to STL running $720 - $850
I manage to get Red a round trip for $350 and then $53 on to Quincy on Cape Air. Never thought I'd say that...Cape Air. But then there is no longer a shuttle to Quincy from St. Louis...imagine that! Flight leaves at 6:30AM, so we spend the rest of the day packing, making phone calls, and talking about the inevitable.
Tue, Dec 23, 2014
After a really short night/nap, we take off around 3:00AM for Jacksonville Airport.
Very foggy, and rainy, but the traffic is light, so it's a short trip. Planned to stop and get coffee when we get close, but we pass all likely stops before we realize we are practically at the drop-off area. Quick goodbye and Red is off to catch her flight and I'm turned around and headed back to Brunswick. Wow...I really wish I was going with her instead of heading back to the motor home alone. However we have our two 'girls' and no one down here to look after them right now. Also, at this point we don't know how long we might need to be gone. I'm not excited about being alone over the Holidays, but I'm sure Red isn't looking forward to her situation either so we will both make the best of it.
Getting back to the motorhome around 5:30AM, I get a text from Red saying she is at her gate and waiting to board. Good...I took a picture of her itinerary and put it on her phone since I didn't have a printer to print her e-ticket. She's better at airports than I am...I hate to fly and just the thought makes me nauseous. I don't get airsick, I just get sick at the thought of airports and flying and making connections. Give me a map and I'll drive you anywhere, but tell me I'm flying and my brain becomes jelly.
Wide awake, I decide on a cup of tea to try to relax before attempting to get some sleep. It sure seems quiet...
Not quite sure what to do with myself, but I know that this is the way it needs to be right now, and I can't stop thinking about Red on her journey home. Finally around Noon the phone rings and I breath a deep sigh of relief when I realize Red has made it home safely. Kelly has picked her up at the airport and they are now at the nursing home with their mom. This is going to be tough on both on them. I don't see a lot of sleep in the foreseeable future for either of them.
Meanwhile, back at the camp (pun intended), I'm spending time cleaning carpet, doing laundry, listening to Christmas Carols on the radio and working on my laptop. I find I prefer the radio to the TV as a means of company. Red and I check in with each other every few hours to compare notes and discuss her mom's condition.
Wed, Dec 24, 2014
Wow, I can't believe it's Christmas Eve! This sucks big time, but as lonely as I feel at
Christmas Eve's dinner is Dominoes Pizza!
Thu, Dec25th, 2014
Christmas morning...sunny and about 60 degrees. It's about 18 degrees in Quincy. I call Red in Quincy and hear that her mom is rallying somewhat, probably because of the Holiday, and the family being there to celebrate. Happy sad; good to see that she is responding a little, but sad to know that overall the disease is taking it's toll.
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| The Marsh on Jekyll Island. Christmas Day |
As I return from the grocery, I notice that several of the kids in the campground neighborhood are out on their new bikes they received from Santa. That makes my day. They are having the time of their life...I can tell by the campers that they are living in that it probably was quite a sacrifice for their folks to help Santa deliver these Christmas presents.
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| Warm but Cloudy Christmas Day |
As Christmas day turns into Christmas night, I feel a sense of relief that the Holiday is almost past and the world will soon be returning to post holiday normalcy. I've survived my '
first Christmas totally alone and I'm doing ok!
Fri, Dec 26, 2014
Talking to Red this morning I can tell that today is not going well in Quincy. After yesterdays rally, there is much less response from her mom today. She is very tired and not appearing to register what's going on around her. Red has been staying at the nursing home at night to be with her mom and I'm sure is near exhaustion at this point.
Sat, Dec 27, 2014
Stormy weather here in Georgia....warm, but not pretty. Seems there isn't any positive change in Red's world in Quincy. This is so hard to watch; I know, as I've been in the same situation myself. I think Red's Dad is doing as well as can be expected. He has been in the meetings with hospice, and has been there when the doctor has given his update, so he is aware of the situation as it stands. Hard for him to accept I know.
Sun, Dec 28, 2014
Speaking with Red this morning I feel a change in the emotional climate of the room where Red is sitting with her mom. Her Dad and Kelly are there along with Larry and the boys. They have been informed that time is short, and are trying to make this as comfortable as possible for her mom. The family is at peace, knowing that she will be free of pain and suffering. Still, these are painful, emotion filled hours.
I receive the call just after Noon that Shirley has passed on peacefully. A mixture of sorrow and relief fills my heart as Red describes their last hours together.
Mon, Dec 29, 2014
Waiting to find out the arrangement details for Shirley, I find myself conflicted on how I will get to Illinois to be with Red and the family. Our friends who live here on St Simons Island have been in Palm Beach with family for Christmas and just returned home late last evening. The only way I can leave to make the trip is to have someone take care of our cats while I'm gone. They are old and I don't want to kennel them if I don't have to. I hate to have MK and Mimi come over here (about 30 miles rt) to check on them every day, but they insists, and I am so thankful for them.
My conflicted feelings on how I'm going to get to Illinois end when I check for prices to fly back. I hate to fly, so it doesn't take alot to convince me to drive; my only hesitation is driving the Smart Car back. Didn't buy it with plans to drive it on long interstate trips, so this may be a real test.
MK and Mimi stop by to get the details on taking care of the 'girls', after which we go out for a meal together before I load up to leave. Doesn't take long to load up the car; just need to see if I can get a few hours sleep before taking off...plan is to leave
around 4:00AM so that I miss rush hour traffic when I get to Atlanta.
Tue, Dec 30, 2014
Not much luck sleeping, but I do doze some. Rather than go up to bed in the loft, I decide to nap on the couch. While trying to fall asleep, I began hearing noise outside close to our motorhome. Peaking out the blinds I spot our neighbor outside with a flashlight crawling on the ground beside his trailer. So much for trying to sleep. It's about 1:00AM and this is only the second time I've seen him come outside his trailer since we have been here; maybe he only comes out at night...weird. We've been warned that he has some serious mental issues and we should probably not approach him if we see him outside, so I can't help but wonder what he might be up to. Just hope he stays over there and goes back inside before I have to leave.
Somehow I manage to doze off for a bit before my alarm buzzes at 3:45AM. As I lock up the RV and jump in the SMART, I notice the fog is so thick I can barely make out the street lights. This should be fun....NOT. I leave at 4:30AM ET.
Getting on the interstate I'm conflicted on the visibility issue. Night driving is usually difficult for me with my contacts in because it causes halos and doubles car lights. I'm seeing pretty well I think, but by the time I get close to Savannah I realize that I can't continue like this. It is now raining, besides the fog, and all the lights are blurring into each other. Ready for coffee anyway, I take an exit and head for Micky D's. If removing my contact doesn't help I'll be forced to stay here until daylight when it will be easier to see; but after taking out the right lens I find it makes a 200% improvement and am ready to get back on the road. Thank You God!
Not much traffic leaving Savannah on I-16, I hit Macon, GA about 7:30AM. I lost some time with my Micky D stop, but I did get breakfast while there, so not bad.
My hope is to get to Nashville before needing to stop for the night. My 8 gal tank means I will be pit-stopping about every 225-250 miles.
Coming into Atlanta around 9:00AM, I'm glad my timing has worked out so well. Traffic is steady and flowing smoothly; I'm only a little nervous because my car is so little I worry I won't be seen so I make sure to keep a lot of space between me and what's ahead. Feel like I should honk when I pass a semi, just to let them know I'm there..LOL!
With Atlanta behind me, it's smooth sailing for a couple more hours before I get into Chattanooga. Getting phone calls from Red and friends checking on my progress; problem is my blue tooth isn't connecting to the car for some reason, so I have to take the calls manually rather than thru the speaker, so I keep the conversations short. Hope they understand.
Wow! Chattanooga is a breeze, and I'm still pumped so getting to Nashville should not be a problem. It's pretty cold out when I make my pit stop; time to dig out my jacket. The wind is pretty strong now, but through the mountains it wasn't too bad.
From Chattanooga to Nashville seems like a long stretch, mostly because of the hills and some road construction, but In getting near Nashville around 2:00PM I hear on the radio that traffic is backed up downtown due to a bowl game at the stadium which is right on my route. It's ok, I'll just go with the flow and hope there aren't too many idiots late for the 2:00PM game.
Finally through Nashville, I find I'm not tired enough to stop for the day, and besides it's too early to want to check in to a hotel. All I would do is be bored waiting for time to pass if I couldn't sleep. I tell myself I'll just drive until I'm tired and then stop. Traffic is sparse now and the sun is getting lower in the West. Looks like it will be a beautiful sunset soon. This is a great section of I-26 through Kentucky with towns scattered about. Fort Campbell, about 60 miles North of Nashville looks like a nice area; we have friends Mandy and Jerry who were stationed here for a few years and I never could quite picture where they lived.
Amazingly, I've not once felt drowsy so far on this trip. I've been driving about 12 hours and will soon be entering Illinois. The farther I go, the more I think it doesn't make sense to stop...I'm sure it would probably be smart, but I guess I'm running on adrenalin. Crossing the bridge into Metropolis, IL (Home of Superman), I call Red to let her know I've made it to Illinois. She ask me if I'm in Quincy, and I chuckle. I'm still about 5 hours away...I should make it around 10:00PM if I don't get too tired and have to stop.
Wow, the St. Louis Arch never looked so good! It's 7:30PM and home from here seems like a piece of cake. If I had brains I would stop at our friends, Gary and Ellen Maxey and spend the night, but I've made it this far watching the remaining miles grow smaller and smaller on my GPS; my competitive nature takes over and this becomes the homestretch of my personal marathon.
Coming into Hannibal, MO I feel like I'm home with only about 17 miles left on this journey. It occurs to me that I haven't stop to eat since somewhere North of Nashville; better stop for a sandwich before I get to my emotion filled destination.
Taco Bell sounds good at this point, so I stop and actually go inside to sit down and eat. I can relax a bit knowing that I am all but home, but I must look like a zombie, by the looks I'm getting from my co-diners at this late hour.
Feeling revived, the last 17 miles go by quickly, and soon I'm pulling into the O'Hara driveway in Quincy. I see Red through the picture window staring at me and talking on her cell phone; obviously calling someone to tell them I finally arrived, safely.
It's about 10:30PM, as I go inside, and Jack has been waiting up for me to get in. Warm feelings as I realize he and other family and friends have been concerned about my arrival. So glad to see Red, I'm almost tongue tied.
Wed, Dec 31, 2014
Last day of 2014...it's always difficult to lose a loved one, especially a parent or child, but when it's around the Holidays, it's even harder. Not only is the family grieving over the loss of it's matriarch, Shirley O'Hara, but today is also the 13th anniversary of another much loved family member, Eric Weiman, which is Shirley's grandson. He was killed on New Years Eve afternoon 2001 when a pickup crashed head on into the car in which he was a passenger. He was 16 years old and not more than 2 miles from home.
We will spend a quiet evening at home tonight, and most likely be in bed before midnight. The next few days will be a blur I'm sure.
Thu, Jan 1, 2015
A new year begins...but there is business and emotions yet to deal with from 2014. New Years day is a mixture of football, and preparation for Shirley's visitation and funeral. A day for family, memories, picture boards, and of course, food.
Visitation, Friday, is a reflection of the impact this family has had
on the community. With numbers in the hundreds, it is a great show of respect and love for a life well lived. Likewise, the memorial mass is well prepared and moving, providing closure and honoring Shirley's life. A winter day with a cold rain coming down is the backdrop to the graveside service, but it doesn't hinder the expressions of love and respect I both see and feel.
As hard as it is to bury a parent, there is some comfort for the family in knowing that their loved one is no longer suffering, and is now in a better place.
Shirley O'Hara
Apr 21, 1935 - Dec 28 2014
It has been an honor to know you and have you in my life.
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